raynrvzjr:

at least SOMEONE laughs at my jokes. it’s me. i laugh at my own jokes.

(Source: spookynrvzjr, via fruneh)

slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

(via murphmurph-is-mad)

confirmance:

i wonder if anyone else in the world has the same password as me

(via murphmurph-is-mad)

cumshotsheaven:

She keeps going

(via oneclap)

kickoffcoverage:

KICKOFF COVERAGE’S HIGLIGHTS OF THE WEEK: WEEK 4

 Green Bay Packers linebacker Clay Matthews intercepts Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler and returns it for 40 yards.

(via fyeahgreenbaypackers)

unfollowryanross:

if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence

(via asvprock)

murphmurph-is-mad:

simonsprocket:

ruinedchildhood:

Drive Through

Instructions unclear

this is totally me

ollivander:

DEATH IS ON ITS WAY, HUMAN.

(Source: arvidabystrom, via fruneh)

livefitdiefit:

therule-breaker:

princass:

life is tough when you’re a lazy perfectionist who simultaneously doesn’t give a shit about anything but at the same time cares too much about everything you feel

holy fuck I’ve never heard a sentence that describes me better

I thought I was the only one

(via vmpknight)

  • me: should i make a sarcastic comment or not
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